thin_is_in

Fail!

I don't understand. I don't get it. Why is food so freaking important to people? It's disgusting! And having it forced down your throat makes it so much worse... I cannot stand people jumping in the middle of things and forcing me to eat.

This morning my mom and I were home together and she made me eat. Then she went to the store, my dad came home, and he made me eat! And I mean literally made me eat. WTF?!?!? I'm 22 years old for God's sake! And it couldn't be something healthy.... Oh no. It had to be full of fat and starch and calories! There's no way I'm going to be able to work it all off! YUCK! I was able to get rid of some of it, but not nearly enough.

Tomorrow I work a double, so I'll be at work all day. That means a full and total fast. And not a minute too soon. I'll be on my feet from 10 am until at least 7 pm, so that should work off some of the nastiness that I was forced to take in today. My last weigh in yesterday was at 126.5. I'm still a cow at that weight, and I'm sure I'm up from that considerably.

Part of me wishes I didn't care so much about my weight and my size. I wish I could be normal and not care. But then part of me thinks of what I would be like if that were the case and it makes me sick. This back and forth thing in my head is going to be the death of me. It keeps me locked up inside myself so alone... Even when I'm with someone I'm alone. I don't have much of anything in common with anyone I meet. I can't seem to connect. I'm alone in my head and it seems that no one on the outside can understand me.

I fear that I am doomed to be disgusting, heartbroken, and alone the rest of my life..... :-/

Food: 2/2
Water: 2/2
Exercise: 2/2
Journaling/Posting: 2/2
Daily Self Esteem Challenge: 2/2

Day 5

Food: 2/2  -- Ate very clean and in the 1200 cal range

Water: 2/2

Exercise: 2/2 walked a mile in the unploughed snow to my car and cleaned it off

Posting: 1/2 Posting 1 day late:(

Challenge: 2/2 Cleaned my apartment, worked on essays


Day 6
Food: 2/2  -- Ate very clean and in the 1400 cal range (eat more on exercise days) 

Water: 2/2

Exercise: 2/2 One hour of intense climbing intervals on the elliptical, lifted shoulders and did cable crunches

Posting: 2/2

Challenge: 2/2 Cleaned my apartment, worked on essays  

6/?/56

Food: 2/2
Water: 2/2
Exercise: 2/2
Post: 2/2
Challenge: 2/2

17/7?/148 ->Is this my first 10-point day, lol? I'm afraid it is! First one in a while anyway :)

Im going to start this tomoz as its almost bedtimes nows (:
I was just wondering has anyone done the full 28days and roughly how much did you lose?
Im WELL excited ;)

Anyone else starting tomoz?

Food: 2/2
Water: 2/2
Exercise: 2/2
Posting: 2/2
Challenge: 2/2

10/10

19/??/141

Food - 2/2 estimate of too many calories kept down. UGH. what happened to my motivation?!
Water - 2/2
Exercise - 2/2 worked out for 5 hours
Journaling/Posting - 2/2 i'm pretty sure you're reading this...
Daily Self Esteem Challenge - 2/2 i caught up on some sleep, programed some numbers into my phone and made it a little prettier with a wintery tinkerbell wallpaper <3 and wrappeded up some christmas gifts

Food - 2/2 estimate of no calories. held a 24 hour fast. i know i can do better
Water - 2/2
Exercise - 2/2 worked out for 4 hours
Journaling/Posting - 2/2 yess
Daily Self Esteem Challenge - 2/2 i cleaned the house, did some random organizing and cleaned up some of the random christmas things that were laying around. also picked up decorations that my kittie keeps knocking down from the christmas tree. i'm just waiting for it to fall over ^.^

Alright, I'm serious this time.

Tomorrow I restart. I would have today, except my mom made corn beef and cabbage last night and, though I don't eat meat, the cabbage/potato mixture was just calling to me today. I could have started today, but I want to do it on a good note.

So tonight, 3 hours (hopefully) at the gym to work today off, and tomorrow back to tight portion controls and calorie counting (800-1000), all-liquid diet until after the 25th and hitting the gym every night (except the 24th, 25th, and 31st since they're not open). And I'm not going to do the daily self-esteem challenge, but I'll earn those points by working 2 hours on my artwork every day.

I might buy a new scale, too, and keep it hidden while I'm home to get a jump start on this. I think I'm around 140-150, and I want to be down to about 125 by the end of March. I know seeing how much my fat ass weighs will encourage me to stick to my diet. Gotta look good for my gallery show in April!

I just lost track after not posting for weeks so DAY 1.

I realize that I really need to diet. Im getting really sloppy!!!

To get a 2 for food I cant do any binging, eat no more than 3 meals per day and NORMAL PORTIONS at each meal. NO DESSERT. NONE NONE NONE

Okay, so day 1 didn't go so well, but oh well. I'm determined to got the full 28 days without stopping.  Even if i screw up. 

F - 0/0 - definate binge....somehow I didn't gain much though. And I don't purge anymore so that's awesome. hehe. It's been a litle over 6 months. Woot!
W - 2/2 - was determined to do this since I messed up on the food
E - 0/2 - felt sooo lazy on this snowed-in day
P - 2/2
C - 2/2 - cleaned out my closet....found some stuff I didn't realize I still had. haha

total - 6/10

Start weight - 107.4
Current weight - 107.6

gotta think of something for todays challenge....maybe I'll wear something really cute and do my makeup nice....hehe

Yes! 2 full days of following my plan. Really feeling changes already, that's why I like this cleanse.

f-2/2 lemonade
w-2/2 all day
e-2/2 (ballet & 2 shows)
p-2/2
c-2/2 feeling good.

2,20,?

food: 0/2
water: 2/2
exercise: 2/2 (45 mins stationary bike)
post: 2/2
challenge: 2/2

total: 8/10
numbers: 17/5/158

i knew today was gonna be bad food-wise cause i went to a christmas party. i know that shouldn't be an excuse but ugh. all i had for the dinner was salad and a roll and during snacks, i mostly had broccoli and dip but then dessert came around and that's when it all went bad. i'm thinking tomorrow's gonna be a good day though, cause i have work and nothing holiday-esque going on. 800 calories or less for a 2 point day is my goal. then the holiday type stuff starts happening and i know it won't be good. i'm praying that i can maintain my weight through the end of the week, then the last 6 days of the challenge i can go back to eating better and actually losing some. 124 is my goal for the end of the challenge but we'll see. i still have time in january to do another round of the challenge and get under 120. wow enough of my rambling. hope everyone's days are going good, xx

Ugh, the days are starting to run together :)

Food: 1/2
Water: 1/2
Exercise: 2/2
Post: 2/2
Challenge: 2/2

16/7?/138

 I had a fight with my parents and then I binged so it was a horrid day. Horrid.

Food: 0/2
Water: 2/2
Exercise: 2/2
Posting: 2/2
Challenge: 2/2

8/10

But, today I managed to get into my really skinny jeans again!

18/??/131

Food: 2/2
Water: 2/2
Exercise: 0/2
Challenge: 0/2
Post: 2/2

6/10

Update "2"/0lbs lost/20 points

FOR YESTERDAY:

FOOD: 2/2
WATER: 2/2
EXERCISE: 2/2
POSTING: 2/2
SELF-ESTEEM: 2/2

(I'm giving myself a two for posting because I did update on my phone but for some reason it didn't send)

TODAY:

FOOD: 2/2
WATER: 2/2
EXERCISE: 2/2
POSTING: 2/2
SELF-ESTEEM: 2/2

GOOD TIMES!

Okay, so I really want to do the 28 day plan....for reals this time....I keep saying I'm going to do it, then I don't.    I would realllly like to be held accountable though.  Anyone want to hold each other accountable for sticking to the plan and posting everday?

Here goes....

Height : 5'2"
Start Weight : 107.4
Goal weight (for plan) : 100

Food - under 750 - 2 pts, under 1000 1 pt
Exercise - standard.  get a half hour in....


Challenge for today - be productive and get a lot done....snowed in. hehe

By now I'm supposed to be at least 98 pounds. But as expected, I'm not. ( I thought I loved you and it's just how you looked in the light. ) I'm gonna begin a new diet plan. I know it's the holidays and it's like totally the wrong time to start one, but whatever. I have a prom and a graduation to attend in a few months and I need to be in my best shape. Happy Yuletide Season everyone! :D

I'm starting over, i totally got on a crazy track the past couple days. anyway today i started the master cleanse. i've done it before and was very sucessful. usually it is for a minimum of 10 days, but i'll probably only able to do it for 5 days bc i'll be going home for xmas. i know 5 days on it should jump start something.

f-2/2 (4 bottles lemonade)
w-2/2
e-2/2 (ballet class and 2 shows)
p-2/2
c-2/2 (cleaned my apartment)

1,10,